Tuesday, August 09, 2005


In 17 days I will be on my way to a new world.

College is the number one thing on my mind at the moment; as it probably is for all of my readers. In some aspects, I'm extremely excited about moving on, moving forward into a great unknown. But then I'm scared about failing, or making enemies, or losing friends.

The last thought bores into me when I lie awake at night. The reality that I won't be returning to CRHS in September has not yet sunk in. The fact that I wont see my high-school friends any more than I do in the summer has yet to register in my mind. And yet, with all these pre-college preparations (shopping for supplies, new sheets and towels, laundry lessons), that reality speeds nearer and nearer.

It's been one of the best summers of my entire life. In radical contrast to the miserable time I had last year, I've grown to accept Country Oaks, and I've slipped into the place that the other kids kept waiting for me all this time. I've had the chance to experience Florida with my best friend, making it the most enjoyable vacation I've ever had. I'm licensed to drive now, finally, after a year of bumming rides and missing out on parties. I found out I passed my AP Exam and gained the college credits I thought were unattainable back in May.

Looking back at my last post, I laugh when I mentioned all the angst that goes on at the campground on July 4th Weekend. Little did I know I'd be a keystone in it all this year. Little did I know, I'd end up meeting someone at the same time someone had strong feelings for me, and my actions would result in both hurting someone and getting hurt myself. It seems like ancient history now. Now that Im still learning the consequences of my actions that weekend. I had an opportunity to have one of those magical "fireworks moments", the ultimate goal of the holiday weekend, and I blew it with my naivity. Ancient history.

I'm going to miss them. I'm leaving two months shy of the campground's normal Winter Recess in October. But that only really translates into 8 weekends, as everyone's in school during the week. They've already mandated weekends that I'm to return: birthdays, game releases, and End-of-the-Year parties.

It seems as if fate dealt me one last creul card, granting me my license just as summer's end. I've already missed the parties, slipped back into my role as the "Invisible Man" to all my school friends. Now that I finally have some say in where I can go and when, I hope to make amends.

The summer is truly at its climax. The last turning point before the story dwindles to an end. As we all settle into our fall routines, I wish only the best of luck to everyone. Goodbyes are hard, but the silver-lining is that summer will begin again, now in mid-May rather than late June. Haha, Nicole's already planned to skip school to keep me company at the campground. There will be other breaks as well: Christmas, Thanksgiving, for once, we actually get a Spring Break...But I hope that it will not come down to counting down to break when Im up there.

It seems like yesterday I walked across the football field in the hott sun, with the wind whipping that tassel in my face. And now I'm making my final arrangements and counting down the days until I leave for Staten Isle.

My few remaining days of my summer world.

Cya Seahawk Wannabes