Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Tales from the Stat Rat

Does anyone still even check these?

Well, in case there are (lurkers) around, I figure I better update from college:

I said when I started this year that I would change. I'd lay low for awhile, and give myself something I haven't had since early Freshman year in high school: a chance to relax. I told myself I wouldn't join a million things, be that central person again. This way I could do my work, and concentrate on who I was to be.

I failed. I guess there's some part of me that just isn't satisfied with a quiet, empty schedule. I ran and was elected to our Student Government, interviewed and became an ambassador for Wagner, and am a vocal member of the Residence Hall Association. Between these activities and class, I'm pressed for time for anything else, making phone calls with old friends, internet, recreation, love...

I've broke my heart twice, but in the end I believe it was my fault. I didn't devote enough time and effort in it. But another obstacle got in the way in both instances: the fact that I've made a choice not to drink. I feel so alienated from 90% of the student body just because I can't have a good time with people. I just don't know how to handle drunk people, drunkeness, and partying in general, to the point where I avoid it to the extent of being unhappy. I feel too mature here, and coming from the youngest person in the school, that's saying something.

It got to the point where I second guessed my morals. College life really wasnt all it's cracked up to be. It is, just not for me. There are parties, I just dont go. People have blasts, I do homework in the library...every night. There's some times when I go with some friends of mine and we have trips to the city or the movies or something...but it's rare because of my busy schedule, and my reluctance to leave my work.

I enjoy it here. I like being here at Wagner. But i'm afraid that I won't enjoy college, looking back in hindsight unless something changes soon.

Gotta run to a meeting, but there are more and will be more tales from Staten Island to come.

Cya Alcoholics,